...ask someone on the proper medical way to wrap someone's, erm, gluteus maximus after removing tiny pieces of plastic.
And you just don't have the guts to e-mail your friends and/or fanfic medical groups and say, "So how do you treat an ass?"
Maybe the sweet, kind, Rebecca won't laugh at me too hard.
Okay, back to writing.
ETA: No good can from any of this. I'm giggling insanely just thinking about it. Even less good can come from the fact that I almost have tears in my to my eyes trying to control silent laughter. What is it they say about people that laugh at their own jokes?